In what ways can you change in your life? Building your future is a challenge that is worth taking on. It takes hard work and smart decision making, but it is worth the time and effort. In this short post, we will explore a few questions to ask yourself in relationships and be challenged to begin changing our patterns and behaviors in this area.
In the book Motivational Interviewing by William R. Miller and Stephen Rollnick, they speak of change and how we talk ourselves in and out of things all the time. They use the word ambivalence and it is the perfect word to describe our tendency to waiver from wanting to change our diet to eating the unhealthy food. Vacillating on seeking a promotion or not, changing jobs or not, purchasing the vehicle or sticking with the one you have.
There are 1000s of areas in which we can find ourselves being ambivalent. The answers are not simple to come by, but the questions are. This is where the process of using a the LifeMap book and workbook can be so helpful. How many times has someone talked you into or out of doing something? Now, how many times have you talked yourself into or out of something?
This simple idea is why the LifeMap questions and process are so effective. To effect real change in yourself start by asking the right questions and honestly answer. Your ambivalence will fade and progress can begin to be made. Take the following questions from Phase 2 of the workbook in the Relational section as an example of areas where change can begin in your life.
Change in Your Relational Life
- What would it look like for you to be fully engaged in your relationship with your family?
- What changes need to be made in your relationship with your family?
- If you have mentors, how can those relationships improve? If you don’t, what mentors could you seek out?
- In what ways do you need to change how the truth (or lack of thereof) is affecting your relationships?
- What level of trust do you have with yourself? How can your self-trust increase?
- Do you need to work through relationships that have weakened trust? How?
- Do you need to spend more time listening and not talking? Explain.
If you are brave enough, take the time to write some answers down or to speak your answers out to the above questions. One of the key pieces to life change is speaking and writing about the change you want. When people take the time to do this it creates a change in your thinking and emotions.
When you look at the relational questions above, they serve as a sample of questions that can be helpful to move you toward change. From the list above, do you want to change anything you are doing, keep things the same, or maybe press into how you are approaching some of these things in your life?
Change requires that we take the time to reflect and challenge our own positions in life, which results in an open door to move from ambivalence to action.
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